The Wild Wordsmith

“This problem” refers to, in this instance, a certain brand of computer that I have dearly loved since my introduction to them at the age of approximately seven years.

My mother was using her Apple 12″ G4 Titanium yesterday, when all of a sudden, the backlight just died. She freaked out, but just a little. Give her some credit, it could have been worse. Our track record for killing technology is amazing. If we so much as look at a computer the wrong way, it will die (yet we insist on continuing to use them).

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Mom and I have a history of doing weird things to street lamps and other artificial lighting fixtures (but usually of the outdoors variety). At least once a day a street lamp will turn off when one or the other of us walk by it, or even look at it. This happens regularly, predictably, and I’ve been able to observe the behaviour of said lighting fixtures. I’m absolutely positive we just generate some kind of kill-technology field. Why else would my computer regularly go crazy, even when it is fully clean of virii and spyware (I’m aware “virii” is not a valid and recognised plural form of virus, but I like it — like octopus and octopi. they will only ever make their way into common usage, and therefore the dictionaries, if I keep using them as though they are correct.). I feel like Will Smith’s character in I, Robot — sh*t just keeps malfunctioning around me. Could it really all just be due to coincidence combined with my perception? Psychology should stay out of this one. It’s reassuring to know that I could have some kind of dormant “technopathy,” which I could learn to control one day, at which point I could destroy or repair technology just by looking at it the right way and focussing a bit.

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I now return to the point: I spent two days (about six hours total, but spread over two days) disassembling Mom’s computer. I love how laptops can’t be simple to repair, but they have to route wires and parts the least sensible ways, just to make them take more effort to repair — like some kind of self-repair deterrent. I love Apple computers, but Mom’s was even more complicated to disassemble than my old MacBook. I literally had to remove every single screw inside that case in order to remove the display assembly and attached cables from the base. There is now a frightening pile of disassembled computer sitting on the dining room table, collecting dust in unhealthy places as it patiently awaits the arrival of the replacement inverter board from iFixit (who, by the way, has awesome disassembly manuals, which I used to help keep the parts organised, rather than just doing my usual thing and sticking them all in a pill box for later sorting).

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By the way, happy birthday, Mom!

My Mom turned 48 on Tuesday 26 August 2008 (N+ also came out on the same day! I’m so excited! I go to pick it up tomorrow from the GameStop I pre-ordered it through, finally making my promised visit to the store my friend works at.). I got Mom an old-school (less-fragile, easier-to-hack) DS for her birthday, as she keeps stealing mine to play Brain Age and the like.

At this hour, it is well past my bed time, especially with the new job coming up and all. I need to set a normal schedule. I was actually going to go to bed at a normal time, like 22:30 or 23:00…but then The Internet. Yes, The Internet.

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On another note:
I learned a lot about myself these last few weeks. I’m leaving that to your imagination. Self-validation comes strongly into play here. Thanks Andrew. Thanks Tiffany.

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I was going to add another section, but I’ve long since forgotten what it was about. I’ve been doing this a lot. I need more sleep.

Goodnight!